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The Experiences
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| Being Lifted up | | I was a reluctant, ungracious convert to Christianity. Up to the age of 28 what I’d seen of Christians hadn’t impressed me and I had no intention of becoming one of them. My eventual acceptance of Jesus Christ as Saviour was one half of the process and was achieved only after a long struggle. The second half, accepting Christ as Lord i.e. letting him take over the ‘steering wheel” of my life, came after an even longer battle. Trying to describe the experience of what happened on the night I gave in feels a bit like trying to rebuild Gaudi’s beautiful Cathedral with a beginner’s Meccano set but here goes.
Having got my two year old and new baby to sleep at last, I fell into an armchair and realising nothing in my life was working, finally, grudgingly but genuinely asked Jesus Christ to take over the driving.
I seemed to be lifted up. Powerful light, warmth and vibration radiated into and out from me simultaneously from the area of my heart. My mind became like an onlooker, babbling things like “This is fantastic, thank you thank you God, praise you, thank you… I’ll never ever doubt you ever again, you are wonderful, I love you, thank you, thank you”… etc. So it gabbled on, idiotically, on the sidelines while I was drenched in the most wonderful radiant love, warmth, power, it was an experience of absolute well being, whole and true, in the power of what I knew, without any doubt, to be God.
As this ecstasy ebbed away, I was gently lowered back into the quiet, now darkened room. Glancing at the clock I saw that I had been ‘elsewhere’ for well over an hour.
The following morning doubts crept, or rather barged in. Oh come on! Was it really God? Hadn’t it been a dream? Hadn’t I just dozed off in the chair? Was it a hallucination due to the lack of sleep that comes with a new baby? I was negating and trying to rationalise only hours after the most intense and precious experience of my life. Back in Meccano Land none of it made sense.
| | Nic G (Guest) 15/11/2010 15:48 | Write a reply |
What a moving account, Nic. I know that you were tempted to brush it off as tiredness, and having a new bab. But I believe that God uses these times, when we are deprived of sleep, and absolutely exhausted, to break in to our lives bacause at those times our defences are down. You opened yourself up to God, and you were not disappointed.
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